Legend of Dragoon - The FAQs of Life

In my last post I had lamented a conundrum that I came up against while playing Legend of Dragoon, and even as I was writing it I could hear the collective throngs of the internet (yes, I'm assuming the entire internet reads my ramblings... my analytics is just broken is all... broken from all the traffic.  Yeah, that's why it's not reflecting those numbers,) yelling at their monitors "Why don't you just use the FAQs you fucking idiot?!" (Interrobangs for the win).

Well, for starters... language... is an awesome tool and your use of an f-bomb to accentuate your frustration is fine by me.  Second, yelling at your monitor does nothing, you have to type it into an e-mail or comment for me to receive it.  Okay?  Now that that's all cleared up, I will continue my (unofficial) dissertation on the subject of FAQs and walkthroughs.

I will of course say that I have no problem with walkthroughs in general (other than the fact that most game stores won't stop trying to ram them into any orifice they see as open and then charge me for it,) and no problems with anyone who uses them.  I myself of course have referred to them now and again to gain the advantage in a losing situation, so I am in no way taking a steadfast standpoint against them.

I think where I am coming from however, is an era in which these materials were not at all readily available.  Growing up, most of what I knew about video games was either hearsay or due to one of my friends sitting me down and showing me the latest secret or code.  The internet did not exist for a long time, and once it did, there wasn't a whole lot of useful stuff on there to start with (there were a lot of gifs and MIDI sound effects... I specifically remember there being a lot of those).  So I basically had to reside to compiling useless videogame knowledge (I can still play the first few levels of Sonic from muscle memory... not bragging or anything) along with all the other supposedly useful knowledge everyone was trying to teach me at the time.

Once the internet did roll around, it really wasn't a whole lot better than listening to the insane ramblings of my friends.  I specifically remember back in high school, playing through Final Fantasy VII was a two player task, one that was taken up by myself and my friend Bill (previously mentioned as my friend now working for Nickelodeon,).  The roles of these two players basically boiled down to the one person scouring the internet and trying to cobble together a list of all the secrets and game winning strategies while simultaneously sifting through all the bogus nudity codes (oh dear lord people loved even the slightest possibility that a nudity code could exist in anything back then,) or revival techniques.  The second player was simply the one who would execute said secrets and strategies by playing the game itself... and looking back it is hard to say which role was more fun to fill.

Spending my impressionable gaming years in that manor probably preconditioned me towards playing video games a certain way, that being to do my best to suss out where I am going on my own, and then hunt down the answer once I finally admit that I am stuck.  If I'm being honest with myself, that is probably a lot like how I am whenever real life hands me a conundrum as well.  I very much so prefer to try and find the answer myself, rather than to refer elsewhere for help.  This is less a matter of thick headed machismo, than it is the fact that I love to puzzle things out.  I love to tinker and take things apart, find out how they worked, something that I know I get from my grandfather who had passed a few years back.

I remember once I was in college seeing friends of mine who would play games in an entirely different manor.  They would be sitting there, controller in hand, stealing glances between the television and their computer screen where they would read a step from the FAQ they had pulled up, and then execute it on the television.  Rinse, repeat ad nauseum (my spell check doesn't recognize that as a word... which obviously means I am smarter than my computer and therefore I will be fine in the impending human/robot war).  This was a style of gaming that I didn't get at all, and even irked me at the time.  I didn't get what was fun about playing games that way?  Why not just read a book or watch a movie if you were looking for a completely guided entertainment experience?

I realize now that the people playing games like this, more often than not, tended to be a certain personality type.  A personality type that is afraid of failure, nay, beyond that, a personality type that is afraid of mistakes and their own ability to make them.  They like the sense of adventure and escapism that playing a game provides, but they lacked the confidence to plunge into them head first, needing instead to be reassured that they were doing everything correctly.  Knowing this, I do not begrudge them their guided experience in the world of gaming, because I know now that the way in which we spend our leisure can reflect a lot about the way we live our lives in general, and so long as you are able to enjoy yourself, there is no way for one to "play wrong," even if it's not what the creators or designers had intended.

Legend of Dragoon - Roadblocks

I have hit my first major roadblock on my journey.  This is one I knew I would reach at some point, and usually appears in the same fashion in almost every game I have played.  I have reached an enemy I am simply unprepared to handle.  Be it through lack of leveling, improper management of resources, or a poorly designed difficulty curve, I almost always run into a monster that I am unable to defeat on my first few tries.  Now, of course, I am not complaining about this fact in the least.  Racking the recesses of my brain for different tactics and techniques I can apply towards solving my problem is one of the things that has always attracted me to RPGs,  I feel like they are games you play with your mind as much as any other skill or dexterity.

What is true however, is that when one reaches one of these roadblocks, they are forced to finally sit back and gauge the personal worth of its removal to them.  This is particularly problematic in games, as games are (for the most part) meant to be fun and are seen as a means of entertainment.  This is something that is easy to convince yourself of when you are constantly moving forward, making progress, and making good time in the process.  Once all of that stops however, you are forced to step back and say, how much fun am I having and is it worth the hassle that getting past this obstacle will cause me?  (something in that sentiment is probably applicable to life as well... but I don't know if I'm smart enough to find it.)

In this particular instance, the answer for me is "tons of fun" and "absolutely, yes."  So there is little need for concern there.  I have been loving Legend of Dragoon thus far and as such had been moving at an even clip.  I am actually surprised I made it as far as I have without running into a stopgap such as this, or even really having lost many battles in general.  The first wall I reached in Legend of Dragoon was earlier on, in disk 2, on the ghost ship.  I was told by a friend that if I were to open the coded chest within two tries I would get an Ultimate Wargod accessory, which allows you to auto-complete your chained attacks.  This was very appealing to me as I am simply not great at quicktime events (which I do recognize as a fault of mine, and not of the game I'm playing itself) and as such there are some combo chains for certain characters that I simply have never seen, so such an item would be a great boon to remedying that situation and helping me to build up my characters.  I spent two nights trying to open that chest, but as it is a random sequence of numbers each try, it seemed more a test of luck than of skill.  Luckily, that was more of a wall that I was able to sidestep by releasing the grip of my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (which did take me two full evenings of gameplay to do...) and simply convincing myself to move on (I opened the chest for one of the lesser items instead.).

Now, however, well into disk 3, I have come upon the battle with the Dragon Blocker Staff... or rather the magical hunk of whatever (I swear, on some of these games it just seems like they randomized a bunch of polygons and applied the texture of a building and then were like "yep, that's a monster alright.") that the staff is stuck in.  The problem is admittedly in part (actually, probably mostly in part) due to my personal hubris.  Upon passing the last village on my way to the next dungeon (or arena in this case) I noticed that every item being sold was magic based, and offered all kinds of protections against magical attacks.  Now, due to my previous failure to obtain an Ultimate Wargod for free, my gold has been precious to me, since buying one costs roughly 10k gold (or whatever the Legend of Dragoon currency is... I think it only says 'g', which I guess doesn't have to mean gold at all.) I had decided to save my money since items you obtain during questing often overshadow those you had just bought moments ago.  So I left the village with no magical protections save the ones I'd had prior, and of course headed straight into what was sure to be a slew of magical battles.

After spending two evenings trying to get past the one battle of which I speak, I decided to cut my losses and backtrack to the village in which I had passed up these now coveted magical protections, and lo and behold I am not able to leave the arena without having acquired the staff.  So now, here I sit, pondering both the game and my commitment to my endeavors as I rack my brain for the best way for me to put this chapter to rest...

List Update - 002

Here is the updated list after my latest purchases...

Games in BLUE I own and currently sit on my shelf.

Games in RED I owned at one point, and still may... i need to look into it. (EL is the abbreviation for my parents home town and the game may be there)

Games with STARS next to them I am VERY excited about playing (More stars... more excitement)

001. Alundra*
002. Alundra 2*
003. Arc the Lad Collection*
004. Azure Dream
005. Battle Hunter
006. Beyond the Beyond
007. Brave Fencer Musashi
008. Breath of Fire III*
009. Breath of Fire IV*
010. Brigandine*
011. Chrono Cross
012. Chocobo's Dungeon 2
013. Darkstone
014. Diablo
015. Dragon Seeds
016. Dragon Valor
017. Dragon Warrior VII*
018. Eternal Eyes*
019. Final Fantasy VII
020. Final Fantasy VIII
021. Final Fantasy IX
022. Final Fantasy Anthology (Case? Refurbish?)
023. Final Fantasy Chronicles*
024. Final Fantasy Origins*
025. Final Fantasy Tactics**
026. Front Mission 3**
027. Grandia (EL?)
028. Granstream Saga
029. Guardian's Crusade
030. Harvest Moon: Back to Nature
031. Hoshigami: Ruining Blue Earth**
032. Jade Cocoon**
033. Kartia: Word of Fate
034. King's Field
035. King's Field II
036. Koudelka**
037. Legend of Dragoon
038. Legend of Legaia***
039. Legend of Mana*
040. Lunar Silver Star Story Box Set**
041. Lunar II Eternal Blue Box Set**
042. Monster Seed
043. Ogre Battle
044. Persona***
045. Persona II: Eternal Punishment***
046. Rhapsody: A Musical Adventure
047. RPG Maker
048. Saga Frontier
049. Saga Frontier 2
050. Saiyuki: Journey West
051. Shadow Madness
052. Star Ocean: Second Story*
053. Suikoden*
054. Suikoden II*
055. Tactics Ogre: Let us Cling Together**
056. Tales of Destiny
057. Tales of Destiny II
058. Thousand Arms
059. Threads of Fate
060. Torneko: The Last Hope
061. Vagrant Story
062. Valkyrie Profile**
063. Vandal Hearts*
064. Vandal Hearts II*
065. Vanguard Bandits
066. Wild Arms (EL?)
067. Wild Arms 2**
068. Xenogears*

A package!

Purchase Date:  9/17/12
Legend of Legia: Estimated value - $50
Saga Frontier: Estimated value - $22
Paid: $35 for both.

When I began Epic RPG Quest, I had hoped that somewhere along the line I would end up with a purchase story better than "Yeah, I wanted that game... so I bought it."  Just something with a little more life to it, a little more personality.  Little did I know that story would come so quick...

To begin, one of my best friends since childhood is a man named Bill Rinaldi, whom is currently working at Nickelodeon as the Martial Arts Coordinator (and if you knew him, you would know that information to be a little bit funny) for the cartoon Legend of Kora.  A few months back he had started a tumblr to keep track of all the details he comes across in his day to day life which has garnered a tidy few followers.

As a favor, he posted to his followers that Epic RPG Quest had begun and linked them to my blog.  As luck would have it, one of his followers named Kelsey (whom may be seen around the internets using the Screen Name "Negai Boshi") responded saying she had acquired two of the games on my list.  Bill gave her my information and she kindly sent me an offer to send the games to me, should I be willing to pay for shipping.

She had informed me that she had bought a Playstation 2, and upon learning this information (and its backwards compatibility)  her mother had been scouring tag sales and the like and buying up every game she could on site.  This led to Kelsey coming into possession of two games, Legend of Legaia and Saga Frontier, which she in all honesty, may never get around to playing.

Overwhelmed by her kindness, I did remember to ask what condition the games were in and she informed me both games were in good and working condition with their cases and booklets still in tact (a minor break in the CD holder of the Legend of Legaia case, but I knew from experience that these are easily swapped out should that feel like a problem).  As I mentioned, I was a bit overwhelmed with the kindness of her offer I felt like it would be dishonest to take it up without letting her know the value of the games she had first.  I then informed her that Legend of Legaia was worth roughly $50 in retail and Saga Frontier was worth about $22.  I then offered to pay her $35 to cover the games and the shipping, knowing this is about what one would get on trade in were she able to find a shop to take them.  She agreed and the exchange was made.

A few days later (yesterday) the above pictured package arrived.  Inside I found two very neatly packaged games...

When removing the games from their bubble wrapped cocoon, I found a kind little note attached to the front of Saga Frontier...

As this note is now a part of my story, I believe I will keep it with Saga Frontier from now on, as a definitive part of my collection.  In the end I ended up with two new games...

and upon inspection I found that Saga Frontier was in very respectable condition, and Legend of Legaia was in pristine condition, disk, booklet and all (She even included an extra bubble wrap pad next to the disk to make sure it didn't bump around in the case), honestly one of the best condition games I've bought thus far (it looks completely un-played).

I very much so look forward to playing these games, as Saga Frontier has always looked to be a beautifully imagined adventure to me and Legend of Leaia is a game that I had played previously and absolutely loved (you may notice it's a 3 stared game on my list... I absolutely cannot wait to play this one again.)

This whole endeavor has convinced me of something that I wasn't quite sure of from the start, and thats the fact that these games are likely to be found in places I never expected.  I half expected my quest to just be non stop trips to gamedude, however it is apparent that these games can be found through online purchases, at tag sales, or even through the kindness of fans (not fans of myself per say, but hopefully I'm winning some over).

So in the end I would just like to say a special thanks to Kelsey, both for the games  and for the story.  I absolutely will be enjoying them.

Legend of Dragoon - Permadeath

Hey, I never said this blog would be spoiler free!  Although, I'm guessing if you hadn't played any of these games at this point, odds are that you won't be crossing their path anytime soon (unless you undertake your own Epic RPG Quest... in which case, send me a link, I love to read stuff.)

So yeah... Lavitz is dead... and dead in a permanent kinda way, not just a 'till the end of battle' kinda way.  I know I'm not the first to point out that in worlds full of Phoenix Down and Angel's Kisses or whatever, the rules surrounding the difference between permadeath and temporary death are kinda muddled.  Of course, many RPGs have solved the problem by having the characters pass out in battle rather than die, but it does still feel a little off when a character withstands thousands of injuries including getting bombarded with meteors from outer space and being smashed by a dragon, only to succumb to the slice of the main villain's sword because it's kinda more meaningful if he does.

The illogical minutia of permadeath don't really cause a problem for me, at least not one that I'm willing to blow out of proportion or feel a need to point at and say "Isn't this waaaaacky." (what do you think this is, internet video game comedy 101?).  I do however have a problem with the way permadeath is dealt with in most video games, as it feels like something that is constantly misused or at least misunderstood.

Death, in reality, is a universal constant, everyone experiences it, everyone feels its lingering presence, and despite conflicting views on the afterward, the implications of your time on this earth having come to an end are always the same.  For anyone in their life who has felt this loss, even in the smallest of forms, knows that there is more often than not something missing from the equation when video games deal with death.

Take for example the loss of Lavitz in Legend of Dragoon, something I recently experienced for the first time while playing through the game (currently on Disk 3 for those curious).  It happened... in a flash, and for a brief moment I was devastated (at least, in proper proportion to the context... it is just a game).  That feeling of devastation came from feeling the loss of the character, someone that I had fought with, and tried my hardest to build up as much as possible, not knowing or realizing that he could be taken from me at any time.  That devastation was almost immediately replaced as the character himself was replaced by another with the exact same stats and moves, something that seems to happen a lot when a game has an irreversible fatality.

The reasoning behind this, from a game designer's perspective, is sound.  You want to have a plot point with high impact to motivate the other characters, but you don't want to outrage the player by taking away something that they had come to know.  However, I say that if you want to tell a great story, one that the player has the ability to feel as much as the characters do, you need that feeling of loss.  Yes, the player will become angry, because death is supposed to make us angry, it is supposed to make us feel loss, it is supposed to confuse and frighten us.  By simply replacing the character immediately afterwards you are trivializing the meaning of the moment you just experienced.  You are turning what could have been a true experience for the player into a plot point for the character.

Of course, we can't touch on this point without bringing up Final Fantasy VII, certainly not the first game to deal with the situation well, but the most prominent in most peoples minds both due to the size of the audience and the fact that (for most) it was their first introduction to a game that could even begin to touch upon such subjects.  Aeris' death was an absolute loss.  If you had played the game through, unspoiled (say for instance, by a blog writer talking about 15 year old games,) then the loss of Aeris feels proper.  She was  a character that not only had very kind and endearing character traits narratively, but she also was a character that was highly incentivized for the player to use and build up.  She was your white mage, she was completely geared towards taking care of your party members.  Then, when she was gone... she was... gone.  She never got replaced, she never got revived, there was no way to bring her back.  In fact, I remember players wanting her back to such an extent, that rumors were abound with ways that 'you can totally bring her back to life!' (none of which were true, at least in the American localization, I can't speak for the Japanese version).  That is the impact death is supposed to have on us.

Now, I can only speculate that the reason for the loss in Final Fantasy VII being such a spot on representation (at least for the medium) is that the entire game was made very recently after the loss of Hironobu Sakaguchi's own mother, and therefore it is very likely he was very in tune with the feelings that a loss such as this should make one feel, but reasoning aside, the end result is the same.

The truth that this entire idea proves is that, moreso than any other medium, video games have the ability to make us feel exactly what the designer wants us to, however in order to do so they need to think of the real world implications and translations for the feelings they are trying to portray, rather than just presenting them to us as a plot point to move the story forward and assuming that we will feel them.

The List - Update 001

Here is the updated list after my latest purchases...

Games in BLUE I own and currently sit on my shelf.

Games in RED I owned at one point, and still may... i need to look into it. (EL is the abbreviation for my parents home town and the game may be there)

Games with STARS next to them I am VERY excited about playing (More stars... more excitement)

001. Alundra*
002. Alundra 2*
003. Arc the Lad Collection*
004. Azure Dream
005. Battle Hunter
006. Beyond the Beyond
007. Brave Fencer Musashi
008. Breath of Fire III*
009. Breath of Fire IV*
010. Brigandine*
011. Chrono Cross
012. Chocobo's Dungeon 2
013. Darkstone
014. Diablo
015. Dragon Seeds
016. Dragon Valor
017. Dragon Warrior VII*
018. Eternal Eyes*
019. Final Fantasy VII
020. Final Fantasy VIII
021. Final Fantasy IX
022. Final Fantasy Anthology (Case? Refurbish?)
023. Final Fantasy Chronicles*
024. Final Fantasy Origins*
025. Final Fantasy Tactics**
026. Front Mission 3**
027. Grandia (EL?)
028. Granstream Saga
029. Guardian's Crusade
030. Harvest Moon: Back to Nature
031. Hoshigami: Ruining Blue Earth**
032. Jade Cocoon**
033. Kartia: Word of Fate
034. King's Field
035. King's Field II
036. Koudelka**
037. Legend of Dragoon
038. Legend of Legaia***
039. Legend of Mana*
040. Lunar Silver Star Story Box Set**
041. Lunar II Eternal Blue Box Set**
042. Monster Seed
043. Ogre Battle
044. Persona***
045. Persona II: Eternal Punishment***
046. Rhapsody: A Musical Adventure
047. RPG Maker
048. Saga Frontier
049. Saga Frontier 2
050. Saiyuki: Journey West
051. Shadow Madness
052. Star Ocean: Second Story*
053. Suikoden*
054. Suikoden II*
055. Tactics Ogre: Let us Cling Together**
056. Tales of Destiny
057. Tales of Destiny II
058. Thousand Arms
059. Threads of Fate
060. Torneko: The Last Hope
061. Vagrant Story
062. Valkyrie Profile**
063. Vandal Hearts*
064. Vandal Hearts II*
065. Vanguard Bandits
066. Wild Arms (EL?)
067. Wild Arms 2**
068. Xenogears*

My Birthday Presents to Me

Purchase Date:  9/14/12

Darkstone: $3

RPG Maker: $9

Jade Cocoon: $26

Star Ocean: $34

Earlier this week I had a birthday, September 11th to be precise (and 29... for anyone who was interested enough to ask which birthday it was).  Yes, of course it does suck to have a birthday overshadowed by such a nationwide event, and of course unlike the unlucky people born on christmas or another major holiday, an event that is undisputedly a complete tragedy.

It doesn't really get me down so much, but I do still try to treat myself to a little extra birthday present each year.  This year of course, I opted for another trip to gamedude to knock a couple of titles off the list.  Of course, this was icing on the cake of what was already a fantastic birthday (My wife surprised me with tickets to see "The Book of Mormon," took me out to dinner in Hollywood and then baked me a birthday pie... I'm not a huge fan of cake), but tradition is tradition.

On Friday of this week I ended up working from home (a.k.a. opting to do housework instead of actual work) and used the opportunity to pick up Jeremy (my gamedude shopping cohort) and head out.  I knew I going into it that I was going to pick up pretty much any of the cheaper games on my list that they had in stock, as well as one or two of the ones I was actually really looking forward to playing.

Once I arrived I mulled over the shelves for the titles I immediately knew I wanted, and for the most part came up empty handed.  I guess that's not entirely accurate, they did have a good selection, and all the games you would expect were there, all the Final Fantasies (aside from tactics, which is the one I was crossing my fingers for), Vandal Hearts, Breath of Fire, Arc the Lad... all the big names.  I was particularly looking forward to a few of the more obscure titles.  There is a copy of Persona sitting on the shelf there for about $100 that haunts me every time I pass it by, but I have a feeling I may be able to find that one cheaper elsewhere.

Then I moved on to find which of the cheaper titles I was able to scrounge up and found Battle Hunter, Darkstone, and RPG Maker.  Satisfied with those, I went down the list of games I was looking forward to and came up with Jade Cocoon and Star Ocean as my top picks of the moment.

While at the counter to make my purchases, the clerk opened the games and inspected the disks.  Upon inspection, he found that Battle Hunter had prominent radial scratches near the edge of the disk, and therefore suggested that I don't buy it.  Satisfied with the recommendation I only bought the other four games instead.  Upon purchase, the clerk offered me their rewards program, which I honestly found more beneficial than most any other rewards program out there (especially the utter bullshit that is the Game Stop "points" program... a million fucking points and they'll give you a promotional keychain or some crap they got for free... awesome).  Its your typical rewards punch card, however once full (ten punches) you will get $50 off of any game or $50 worth of used DVDs or Blurays... not too shabby.  This actually miffed Jeremy a bit, as he had just spent the same amount as I (and honestly does so more often than I do) and was not offered the same deal (by a different clerk, the clerk ringing me up actually offered him the rewards system post purchase).  But I guess the upside to that (if there is one) is that Gamedude is obviously not likely to push a bunch of superfluous peripherals, pre orders and rewards programs on its customers like some other retailers.

When I got home and began looking over the booklets (one of my favorite things to do immediately after purchasing a game), I did get a little bit of bonus nostalgia, still included in the case of Star Ocean after all these years.  I will leave you today with the the tiny insert that I hadn't seen in a long long time.

Legend of Dragoon - Wrong Turns and Treasure

I feel like every game, even the most linear of games, can be played a number of different ways by any player, and I of course am no exception to that.  While playing the Legend of Dragoon last night, I came to realize that I tend to play with a hint of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  Now, I have actually been diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and over the years have found that people have a fair misunderstanding of the disorder in general.  At is basest, it is simply something within the brain that causes one to obsess over something (usually something that a normal mind would not pay any heed) and then compulsively act on that obsession, usually without the conscious choice or will of the perpetrator.

Due to this broad definition and the fact that most of the time these compulsions, were they not vocalized, would go unnoticed, the general public has linked the disorder with Germaphobia and obsessive tidiness.  These two symptoms are the most recognizable traits that someone with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder may display, therefore they are often thought of as the only traits of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ("or as we in the business call it 'The O.C. Disorder'"  -Tobias Funke).  They are not.  Personally, I do not have either, I  do however have a crippling fear of poisons which causes me to wash my hands raw upon contact with any household cleaner.  I also have a number of minor ticks and such that generally pass as normal, checking my phone/watch ever few minutes, fidgeting with objects, running my fingers across walls as I pass them etc.

These of course, at this point in my life, are things I have in check and therefore don't affect my day to day, but I do recognize the symptoms when they happen to manifest.  As one who is able to recognize these symptoms on the fly I am also a subscriber to the idea that there is no such thing as video game addiction... there is video game compulsion, and it is as dangerous as the people out there who are calling it by the wrong name purport (when in its most extreme and worst cases), it is just a mislabeling of symptoms.  Semantics, sure, but if we are to treat it seriously we should at least start at the root of the problem, which is a mental disorder and not a physical addiction, so we can treat it as such.  Either way, the point is moot for what I am talking about today... because I don't have that.

I may have a disorder where I write long pointless sidetracks to the main point I am trying to make (as of yet unrecognized by any legitimate medical association) but I don't have that.  I generally play video games for an hour or two a night after my wife goes to sleep, I don't think much about them during the day (aside from discussing with friends or writing these articles), and I don't feel a loss when I am unable to play or otherwise occupied (as you can tell by now, I am fairly self analytical so its something I tend to keep tabs on).  I do however express huge amounts of compulsion when playing the games themselves.

Again, while playing Legend of Dragoon last night I realized that I tend to play games in a highly exploratory manor.  I purposely try to take every wrong turn possible to try and see everything the game has to offer.  Now, I don't by any means thing I am the only person that does this, in fact I had kinda always figured this was a norm for most people, but last night I had the realization that I'm sure there are people out there who simply rocket towards the end of a game because, well... they want to beat the game.  I, of course, take it a bit too far while playing, to the point where if I do leave something unexplored, either by mistake or by force of the game, I feel extremely unfulfilled.  What was over there?  What am I missing out on?  What did that area look like?  Did I miss something that would have triggered a cut scene or a bit of dialogue?  The idea that I don't know, and likely won't know, drives me insane to the point where I have in the past, reset a game and played through huge chunks of territory over again, just to explore that single unknown (which is rarely, if ever, worth it).

I feel like this mindset is becoming increasingly lost in modern gaming, and even discouraged by games themselves.  Perhaps not consciously done by the developers, but as a side effect of two helpful little innovations known as "The Mini Map," and "The Waypoint."  While I do appreciate he helpfulness of these two modern gaming staples, I have found that they inherently take away the uncertainty and need for exploration that I feel in these older games.  What was over there?  Oh, well according to my mini map... nothing.  I find that when playing more modern games I feel more like I'm simply running around with a checklist of things to do and a little marker telling me exactly where to go.  There is no uncertainty and no exploration.  Of course, you have the option to explore on your own, and it often yields a lot of benefit, but I still don't feel like the mechanics encourage that mindset.

Exploration, even of an obsessive nature, is fantastic, it is a big part of what draws me to these earlier games.  I imagine how much less I would have gotten out of something like Final Fantasy VII if there were things like waypoints pointing me to every single item I needed to get into Don Corneo's mansion.  I love the uncertainty, I love figuring these things out for myself, and I love making every wrong turn I can in order to see what is there... and more often than not, at the end of that wrong turn, there is a nice little box waiting for me with bounty untold... almost as if... that was the whole point.

Legend of Dragoon - Initial Thoughts

Purchase Date: July 2012
Purchase Price: $25

There is, of course, a lot to say about Legend of Dragoon, and at this point I'm guessing most of it has been said.  Coming around on the tail end of the PS1 lifespan, Legend of Dragoon was touted as and in many ways looked forward to as the definitive "Final Fantasy Killer."  This, of course was both a tall order and a curse on the way the game was received as I remember it.  The high stakes of those claims of course being amplified by the fact that we were right in the middle of the former series' strongest streak (at least from a popularity perspective) ever.

If anything ever could have done it though (Spoiler Alert:  It didn't) it very well could have been this game.  The odds stacked so high against it, its incredible that this game made a blip on the radar at all, but in the end I feel like commercial success or failure (and I don't really think it was either to be honest.  A lot of people played and loved this game, but it never became the franchise it deserved either) this game won its way into the hearts and minds of many.  In fact, when I first posted publicly that I had begun the Epic RPG Quest, the overwhelming majority of reaction I received was along the lines of "Man, Legend of Dragoon... great game."  A reaction that is, in my opinion, rightfully earned.

The thing is, everyone knows the Final Fantasies of this era are great, and everyone knows of the Chrono Crosses and (to a lesser extent) the Grandias, but this game was a total wild card.  We didn't know shit about it to begin with, aside from the fact that it had set some pretty damn high expectations of itself.  Everything about this game people were discovering anew, from the characters, to the fighting system, to the world and its history and nuances.  All of these things were built and portrayed admirably, and for that reason I think overall it won out the hearts of its players, and now is remembered as just a great game, rather than "the one that tried to dethrone the king," as it was initially touted.

I, admittedly, had never had a chance to play it.  It was always on my radar up until and after its release, however being of the poorer type of gamer, I always shied towards the bargain bin in favor of this beautiful and seemingly unobtainable gem.  Legend of Dragoon just wasn't popular enough for me to be able to borrow/steal the game disc by disc from my friends as I had other games, and there wasn't a franchise name for me to imprint in the minds of my family members time and time again in order to receive it as a gift on any appropriate occasion.  Therefore I was left to my own devices... and my own devices were to go without.

Therefore, this was always at the top of my list of games to acquire a new once my collecting had begun.  Earlier this year, Karl a friend of mine from back home, had come out to attend Comic-Con (as he does each year since I get free passes, and really, who can turn that up?).  The event having come and gone, we were left with a few days to spend in L.A. with plenty of time to fill.  I knew I had to bring him to gamedude, to show him their palate of nostalgia and kickstart the familiar conversations of the games we loved growing up.  While there I noticed they had a copy of Legend of Dragoon sitting on the shelf which hadn't been there in past visits.  Feeling a bit of divinity in this I was sure to swoop it up, even though at this point I hadn't yet considered collecting these games seriously.

Once again, the game sat on my shelf for a solid month, however I always had the intention of playing it, and began just that roughly 2 weeks ago.  I am currently into the second disc of the game, and will continue to update the blog with my thoughts and revelations as I continue to play (as will likely be the format of writing from here on out, just a random spattering of musings based on what I am playing with some overall breakdowns as the one included above when I begin a game.)  I do, of course, have some thoughts to share already, but I will spare you for another day.

Final Fantasy VII - Remorse Upon Reflection

Personal note:  This one was actually hard to publish... I've had it written for a few days now.  I honestly hadn't expected to encounter such self realization simply by exploring the thoughts and feelings surrounding some games I like.

In my initial reflection of Final Fantasy VII I had recounted the anecdote about dating my friend's sister.  This brought up some interesting personal revelations that I feel like I had always considered, but never really expressed in any meaningful way.  First and foremost of which being that I was a complete ass to this guy.

Seriously, if I had to pick any one person in the world that I had mistreated throughout the course of my lifetime, it would be him.  Its crazy when I think about it, I don't even know where to begin, but it seemed like as much as we got along, and were able to relate to one another, the fates were aligned in an effort to doom our friendship and I had been chosen the villain.  Now, of course, I am not ignoring personal responsibility, but these things were more apt to happen just in the course of my being an impulsive hyperactive teen than through any true malicious force.

Yes... I did date his sister and cause his parents to hate me in, what I thought then was a pious act of class hatred (they were a bit better off than I,) but was was in all likelihood just justified parental disdain.

Yes... I did at one point end up making out with his girlfriend (or... ex-girlfriend as of that morning, I kinda didn't know the whole story going into it,) at a concert that we all went to together.

...and yes... I did end up tripping over the wires to his Playstation that first night we were playing Final Fantasy VII causing it to crash to the ground from a shelf and make a very concerning high pitched 'whirr' and not boot up for a while.  (We ended up determining that the cords in the back had loosened from the fall and were able to cobble together a solution to the problem, so, crisis averted.)

I will let you determine which amongst those offenses is worst.  In the end, I had transferred to a different school after a while and never heard much from him again.  I have since wondered what ever happened to him and what I might say should we ever meet.  I think, however, should that ever occur that I will forgo words and just accept the punch to the face that I rightfully have coming.

To The Point...

Now, having caught up with writing up my collection as it currently stands I am left to ponder my quest and where it will be going for the first time since I officially began.  This also inevitably leads to me pondering the question "Why is this important?"  A question that really can, and needs to be asked on multiple levels.

Practically speaking, the answer of course is that it isn't... flat out.  I said it and I'll say it again (although not literally right now, because that would be redundant, and I am nothing if not efficient) but that of course isn't the whole truth.

From a personal standpoint, the task I have set out upon is very important however.  I know there are many who will look at this blog as a self fulfilling desperate plea to cling to one's childhood, and of course the thought had crossed my own mind as well.  From the outset, that is in fact what it looks like, even to myself.  However upon reflection I found that it is so much more than that.  As I had previously mentioned, I am due to have my first child (a daughter) early in 2013, and of course I feel the impending force known as true 'adulthood' closing in upon me.  Of course I realize that I am still very childish in many ways, and that is not likely to change, but I feel like embarking on my journey to collect and play every game I ever desired in my youth I am, in part, completing that part of my childhood as I simultaneously open the next chapter of my life.

The second part to the personal equation is the recording and self discovery this journey may (and has already) cause.  To be honest, this is an idea that kinda snuck up on me.  This all literally began when I spoke with Jeremy (my partner in crime on this one) and basically said "I'm pretty sure I'm gonna try and get all of the RPGs for the PS1."  ...that's where I left it.  As we discussed how to go about it he suggested recording the task, half serious and half joking.  Thus the blog began, and already I have seen a tremendous effect on myself and my introspection through the discussion of these games, some of which has led to some incredible self realizations (one of which will be discussed further in my post for tomorrow).

The last standpoint I had considered, is the importance of this journey in a broader social context.  Now, I was never one of those major escapists, or the type of person who considered these characters or games to be the true friends I never had or anything, but I can't deny that they had a huge part in shaping who I am and my world view.  Even if I always saw them as something fun to do when I'm bored, or just another way to tell a story, I am continually finding that they are inherently linked with my development as a person, even just by being there and giving me enjoyment during different times in my life, they are a part of me, as tends to be the case with a lot of pop culture.  In that regard I know that they must be equally important (if not moreso) to thousands (if not millions) of others, and I am more than proud to be a part of that discussion.

So in essence, this journey in and of itself has proven (and will continue) to paradoxically mean both everything and nothing at all at the same time.

Granstream Saga - My Story

Purchase Date:  Hell if I know.
Price: Gift
Repurchase Date:  April 2012
Repurchase Price: $5


Granstream Saga was amongst my favorite games in the "something I'd never heard of until now" category that I had received as a gift.  Every time I held one of said games in my hands, ready to insert it into my system and power it up, I felt a palpable anticipation and anxiety (although subconsciously done, the sexual undertones of that statement were probably not a mistake).  I never knew what I was going to get.  Judging from the cover I figured I was in for some sort of romp involving a bejeweled hero with an awkwardly foreshortened sword (or maybe a comically large dagger?).  I figured it had airships, a panicked parakeet, a dreadnaught from Zelda, a busty maiden that kinda wants to punch me (maybe?) and some sort of cow skull monster with a... vagina? cowrie shell?... on its forehead (I specifically remember thinking that when picking up the game for the first time, and still to this day think it).  One thing for sure, it would be a ride one way or another (it was a dragon by the way... not a cow skull demon monster... I figured that was probably bugging you,).

The game did not disappoint.  It had an interesting fight system, fully hand drawn anime cut scenes (at this point most cut scenes were CGI, so that was a bit of a novelty) and a surprisingly well crafted story.  Most importantly, it felt like a game that was completely mine.  Nobody had ever heard of it and certainly nobody had ever played it (at least in my small town.  I'm not putting forth that truly I was the only person that ever played it... although that would be an interesting thought.  I get the game as a child, sell the game for store credit in the days before I knew this was a system designed to rip me off, and then buy the same copy back some fifteen years later in the overly elaborate ploy of some evil genius to get thirtyfive dollars from me rather than just thirty.  I imagine him wringing his hands, smiling at his ill gotten gains, his plan having finally paid off... wow, that was a long ass sidetrack).

Upon discovering gamedude earlier this year, my friend Jeremy (whom has had an integral part in both my decision to start this collection and the decision to record the journey) started to bulk up his collection with games of yesteryear.  I on the other hand started purchasing games in a more practical mindset, games I had always wanted to try but had a hard time finding (The World Ends With You, anyone?).  Every time I went to the store though, I was immediately drawn to the PS1 area of their shelves, content just to revel in it and the memories it stirred up.  I also remained somewhat jealous of my friend who had the confidence to make the rash purchases that I avoided, perhaps somewhat aware of the Pandora's box it would open.  All of that practicality went out the window when I saw a lone copy of Granstream Saga sitting on the shelf for a mere five dollars.

I bought the game and let it sit on my shelf for a few months while my wife and I moved to a new house and settled.  Then, one night, I decided "Hell, I bought the damn thing, I might as well play it." so I popped it into my PS3, flicked on the projector and began playing it on a screen larger than my young self could have imagined with headphones creating an encompassing world I hadn't dreamed of.  This is what my childhood is supposed to feel like... my new mission was coming into focus.

Final Fantasy IX - My Story

Purchase Date: 2000
Price: Gift
Repurchase Date:  2008
Repurchase Price:  $10 (estimated)

By the time Final Fantasy IX rolled around, I knew the drill.  It was going to be amazing ('ner-riffic being the term my friends and I had coined in order to explain how these games made us feel in our 'down there' zone).  Of course, hindsight as it is, this game generated the polarized opinions that it either marks the beginning of the series' downfall or it is the last true Final Fantasy game.  For many reasons it seems to teeter that gap, and while I don't seem to find myself thinking either of those statements are wholly accurate, I to tend to favor the later.  This probably being, in my opinion, the most under appreciated game in the bunch that I can think of.  Sure, Zidane wasn't my choice protagonist at first, but I ended up with a soft spot for the little sky pirate monkey boy... thing.  The character designs in general felt like HD re-builds of the cartridge era sprites which I found endearing.

I was straddling my Junior and Senior year of high school while playing this game (although I played games what felt like a lot at the time, it seems like my hour count must have been somewhat limited in retrospect as a game like this could take me 4-6 months to complete.) and as such, this game relates back to some serious milestones in my adolescence.  I remember playing this game in a daze as I had begun seriously dating what was, at the time, my most stable girlfriend.  This of course was an important landmark because up until that point I had been what is known as a serial dater (or as my sister lovingly referred to it "a manwhore").  I remember talking Final Fantasy IX strategy with my co-workers at my first job at an environmental lab (it was really weird, I worked the second shift and we set off chemical reactions and threw things off the roof... neither of which were work related of course)... and I remember spending all-nighters with my friends playing this game deep into the recesses in the morning before passing out in separate rooms and hurling insults at each other just for the fun of it.

This game, having encompassed so many milestones in my journey towards what I then thought was adulthood, was a natural choice to reacquire years later when I had grown nostalgic.  So in one fell swoop I picked up this one along with the previously mentioned Chrono Cross back in 2008.  In fact, I was re-playing this game when I began dating the woman that would later become my wife, so this game is intrinsically linked with a number of huge milestones in my life.

On top of all that, I find the game itself just to be absolutely delightful.  It is a true fairytale from beginning to end and decided to take a chance in exchanging the series' new standard of brooding heroes unraveling a complicated and world threatening plot while simultaneously accomplishing self realization (don't get me wrong, I loved that stuff as well) for a lighter and more jubilant fare (that still had a world threatening plot for good measure).  It was a bold move that kept the series fresh in my eyes without compromising the elements that made it great (as proven later in the series' history, some bold moves don't quite pay off.) 

I remember upon beating the game (both times actually) thinking to myself "That's it?  That was so simple!"  Not in a bad way though, just in a way that I hadn't expected.  Unlike most Final Fantasy games, its plot was so straight forward and easily followed (at least for me) that I understood it on the first playthrough (which definitely could not be said for a good number of entries, prior to and after this one).  It felt like a return to the series' humble beginnings in a number of ways.

Lastly, this sticks out to me as one of the last major experiences I had with the PS1 before moving towards the PS2 era.  Of course I paid no heed to it at the time, but a huge chapter in my gaming biography was coming to a close.

Chrono Cross - My Story

Purchase date: 2008 (exact date unknown)
Price:  $10 (estimated)

Chrono Cross presents an odd anomalous gap in my memory.  With most games I've played I am able to remember very clearly the experiences that were occurring during my life while playing them as well as oddly specific details about playing the game itself, such as which television in which room in the house I had hooked up my game system and spent the most time playing said game.  Chrono Cross, on the other hand seems to have blanked out a lot of my player experience.  Now, this isn't for lack of memorability, as anyone who's played the game can tell you.  I know this because I remember the game itself vividly.  Perhaps it is just that total immersion that sucked me in, or perhaps I was just too busy trying to figure out what the hell was going on in this game (seriously, I got a little lost about the time that I became a cat person that used to be my mortal enemy... and this seemed semi permanent).  In the end the details lost (or at least, disassociated) are insignificant, but it sticks out as odd to me, so I figured I'd ponder it a bit just the same (Achievement Unlocked: Pondering).

What I do remember however is that this game came to me as another in the long line of 'borrowed' games (at that time, most of the AAA games I got to play were borrowed, my personal library consisting of obscure titles out of the bargain bin, which I also played the absolute shit out of).  The lender in this particular case was the elder cousin of my best friend.  He always had the best games, and he always finished them within days of their release, no matter how long the play time.  This was due to the fact that he was significantly older than us and on a partial work disability due to a physical malady.  This meant that his life consisted of (and still does,) video games.

Now as a quick sidebar, I know there are a good many people who would frown upon such an existence, and I totally admit that it is not one that I could readily embrace myself, however its not exactly one I look down upon either.  In this life who is to say what achievements are more worth while, or that relationships built and maintained via interpersonal communication are any more real than those built over XBL or WoW.  It all ends the same for every one of us anyways, so to each their own (that sentiment is kinda a double edged sword isn't it?).

Sidebar... aside... (sure, that works) my friend's cousin was an outright cool dude.  He introduced us to pretty much everything awesome (video game and horror movie wise) way before we were supposed to be introduced to it  (to this day I still can't convince my friend to watch Fire in the Sky ever again).  Thus I had obtained a copy of Chrono Cross.  Now, I had of course been familiar with the predecessor, and was filled with excitement to play this game, and play it I did.  Everything about this game felt like a breath of fresh air at the time, from the beginning moments in a small beach side community, to the ever expanding cast of characters and the unique twists the plot threw you.  I remember treating the obtainable characters like Pokémon, I absolutely had to get them all.  Of course, this being before I knew of gamefaqs or even had a reliable internet connection, so I was only able to assemble my ultimate party based off of rumors and conjecture.

Truth be told, I never actually finished the game on that first play through.  I think this was in part due to the fact that at the time my mother had recently re-married, had another child and my family was moving to a new house so there was a lot of chaos in the mix.  That was combined with the fact that I had hit the wall of this game.  I use that term to explain what inevitably happens in any video game I play, but most prominently with RPGs, where I find myself with a seemingly insurmountable task to overcome.  A boss battle, a puzzle, an ill advised save with little to no health and no backup (back then each memory card held about 10 saves, so multiple saves were some sort of mythical beast, I'd heard of them, but never experienced it myself)... the catalyst changes, but the feeling is the same.  The feeling that raises the question as to whether or not the fun I am having with the game is worth the effort I need to put in at this very point.  More often than not, the answer is yes, but in this instance, and through no fault of the game itself, I had cast it aside and returned the disks.

Apparently this left a void somewhere in me because many years later, sometime in 2008, I became nostalgic and decided to see if I could find some of the games I'd always wanted to own and never did.  Chrono Cross was at the top of my list.  I promptly purchased a sealed "Greatest Hits" copy of the game via e-bay and played the hell out of it.  I remember a feeling of dread creeping upon me as I reached my previously hit wall (I remember it well, a point on the pirate ship where you have to rig a game against the captain... I couldn't figure it out for the life of me)  and I remember being almost angry at how easy it was to figure out now in my later years.  That was a big feeling for me, being able to easily accomplish a task that had daunted me in my youth, and it probably added a good amount of vigor to my desire to begin my current task at hand.

Acquistion Update 001

Yesterday I spoke with my younger brother back in Massachusetts.  I told him of my newly established goal and referred him to the blog.  He seemed to be rather interested in the endeavor (which, although not surprising because he is family, is interesting due to the fact that most of these games he has no reason to care about) and offered to search my parents house thoroughly for the games on the list that have been lost.  This is a tremendous boon considering the 3000 miles between us would cause purchasing a plane ticket to search for them myself to result in these few games being the most expensive in my library.

Final Fantasy VII - My Story

Purchase date: Summer 2005
Price: $20

To begin I have decided to tell the stories behind the games that I already own, and what better place to start than with Final Fantasy VII.

Rest assured, I don't plan on just telling you yet another masturbatory recap of the game and its awesomeness (there's already enough of that out there) but I probably do love it that much as well.

This was, of course, my first foray into the next generation of gaming (as was the case with pretty much everyone back then) and I was blown away.  Even more so than I was blown away by the game itself, I was blown away with how universal its appeal seemed.  This was an RPG that everyone owned... seriously... everyone.  I was amazed to find upon visiting the house of a friend of a friend, someone whom I though I had absolutely nothing in common with, that he had a copy of the game currently in his Playstation, the case sitting along side his sizable collection of madden titles and racing games.  Seriously, this was a kid who's hobbies included pizza and backyard wrestling, and there he was with what had been up until then, such a niche piece of entertainment, casually sitting in his collection.  I would never expect to see such a thing today.

My first introduction to the series came in the form of watching a friend play his copy during a sleepover.  (a friend that in retrospect I was a total ass to having that night alone gotten him in trouble with his parents by flirting with his sister... and then later dating her... I was not a good person back then, but then again very few high schoolers are.)  I vividly remember sitting there in his room and watching as the first battle transition came up.  He was in the northern part of the world and had to battle what looked to me to be cute bunnies.  I of course cried out "Aaaw, lookit the cute bunnies!" right before Vincent pulled out his rifle and shot one in the head causing it to erupt in an explosion of fading red polygons.  Holy shit!  I was hooked.

The funny thing is, as big of a fan as I am of this game, I never owned a copy of it until well after my fifth play through (did I mention I REALLY love this game?).  The reasoning behind that is simple... I was poor, and everyone on the goddam planet owned a copy.  The beauty behind it was that the game was 3 disks, so I strategically borrowed whatever disk my friends weren't using.  Then I would forget that I borrowed the disk and borrow it again from someone else.  By the time I got to college I think I had 3 Disk 1's, 4 Disk 2's, and 1 Disk 3 floating around my house.

After graduating college I had the typical post grad lull and decided that the best use of my time was to play through Final Fantasy VII in its entirety as quickly as possible.  All of my ill gotten disks at this point having been either tossed, lost or damaged beyond repair, it was high time I bought a copy of my own.  Impressively enough (or perhaps not impressive at all considering its following) this was 2005 and I was still able to walk into Media Play (now bankrupt and closed... R.I.P.) and buy a brand new copy, still in shrink wrap.  This copy is the one that sits on my shelf today and still remains as my go to game whenever I'm feeling kinda down.

So, uh... why? This seems kinda stupid...

Well then this blog clearly isn't for you, you big dumb jerk!  However, I will answer your hypothetical question, you hypothetical naysayer.

The short answer is that I absolutely love RPGs and this is something I've wanted to do since I was a teenager.  But I'm not a short answer kinda guy, so I hope you're prepared for a long haul...

I had first been introduced to the RPG genre via Ultima on the NES and although I had several experiences with the genre since then with Final Fantasy, Shining Force and the like, it wasn't until the PS1 that they really seemed to grab a hold of me.  Some would say that this era of gaming produced the best games of the genre, which is debatable to say the least.  Others would say that with the overwhelming success of Final Fantasy VII on the system and the resurgence of imitators that followed, it was a statistical likely hood that I would be drawn in at the time, being it was a large part of what was available.

Personally however, I feel like there was a convergence of multiple factors.  For starters, at the time the Playstation debuted (at least in my house) I was 13,  the perfect combination of a mature want for good storytelling and an imagination waiting to be captured.  Second was a monetary factor.  Having not exactly come from the most affluent of families, gaming of any sort was a bit of a luxury, and RPGs came with the most bang for your buck.  At the time a typical game was much shorter (the original Resident Evil for instance can be beat in about 2 hours on a good day... even quicker if you're a freak) while your average RPG carried 40 to 60 hours of total immersion.

I honestly couldn't get enough of them.  The moment I finished one I ran out to my local EB (this, of course, was before the great Gamestop conquest of the late 90s, so there actually were other game stores) and buy the RPGiest (yeah, that's a word now, I'm not even getting the red squiggly under it in my text field) looking case off the shelf and buy it, caution be damned.  It didn't matter to me what it was, I loved the discovery of new play experiences and stories.  I had a standing order for every birthday that my family should buy me the most random RPG they could find at the best bargain they could, the more obscure the better... and honestly, more often than not... I loved my play experiences and I wanted to experience them all.

Now, I am an adult (for the most part... I still draw pictures for a living) and I can pay for my own games (as well as my own clothes and food... but not socks or underwear, who the hell buys their own socks and underwear?  I can't think of a more disappointing purchase).  This in mind, I realized that of all my modern game purchases and rentals, I was desperately searching for an experience that just isn't prevalent in the current gaming industry (I did of course still love many of these new experiences as well, but something still felt missing).  Now, I don't begrudge forward movement in the least, but I did begin going back and replaying some of the games that I loved.  Upon replay, I found that they were still able to capture me in the way they did as a teen, the downgrade in graphics or system capabilities didn't hinder me in the least.  I know that for many, these are hurdles that just can't be overlooked, but apparently not for myself.

So, as I started (along with a good friend of mine) to frequent vintage game stores and find more of these games I loved in the past, more of it began to come back for me.  After many talks of collections and our favorite most obscure titles of the past, I decided it was long past due for me to begin my personal dream collection.  What began as a modest goal of course expanded quickly as I researched what it would entail, however with it expanded my excitement (okay... stop saying expanded... its making me uncomfortable) as well as the excitement of my friend (having a partner in crime as nerdy as yourself really helps).  It was at his behest that I began this blog and continue to move forward in my endeavor.

The Rules

Every game has its rules... hell most aspects of life have rules, so this is no different.  (disclaimer: all rules are not actual rules and should not be treated as such and are therefore subject to change).

1.  I must both collect and play a physical copy of every game on this list.  Fully accepting that some games may be absolutely unbearable I am not putting the restriction of completion on all of them, but I will at least give each one an earnest attempt.

2.  It is about the experience, not the collection.  Although I do desire a rockin' collection in the end (please note "rockin'" is a relative term), the purpose of this journey is to experience and appreciate the games of a specific genre and time, not to obsessively collect or horde them.  To that end I will not scoff at a 'greatest hits' item or a tarnished item, so long as it is playable and in acceptable condition.

3.  Digital downloads, ROMs etc. do not count.  The process and story behind obtaining a physical copy of the game is in and of itself is a part of the experience and therefore will not be circumvented.

4.  (a.k.a. The Spousal Disclaimer)  I will never allow this endeavor to become a financial burden in any way shape or form and will never let it stand in the way of my family or life.  Hobbies are fun, obsessions are creepy.

5.  This is as much a story about myself and my experiences (if not more so) than a story about the games themselves... that's all there is to that one, sorry, deal with it.

Wait, who are you again?

With the blog formalities out of the way, allow me to introduce myself.  I am Jeff Short, and I am an animator currently operating out of the Los Angeles area.  Although I do love the medium of video games, I am not exactly what one may consider to be 'teh hardcorez'.  I specifically maintain a love of the PS1 era of gaming, probably because it hits that perfect sweet spot of nostalgia and entertainment for me (more on that later).
Aside from the gaming aspect of things (don't worry, I won't dwell too long on non video game related content, I know what you're here for.) I am married and have my first child, a daughter, due in January of 2013 (more on that later).  I also enjoy writing and illustrating (which was my first passion and eventually melded together into animation) and partake in both often.  So as to keep myself from being a total mess physically, I train at Parkour with the Tempest team members at the Tempest Freerunning Academy (or at least I do whenever I'm not injured as a result of said training.)  I used to skateboard, but now I just feel like the old guy at the skate park, and nobody likes that feeling.  (There, see?  That was painless.)

The List

Every journey has to begin somewhere, and mine begins with a list.  In order to complete my goal of owning and playing every RPG ever made for the Playstation, I have to first know what I am shooting for, I need to know my endpoint.  Call this my "World Map," if you will.

As a means to this end, I have scoured the recesses of the internet and cross referenced a number of sources resulting in the following list.  I then cross referenced this list with the complete PS1 price guide from my preferred local gaming shop, Gamedude to assure proper naming and get an idea of what my end cost will be.

The third step to compiling this list was to catch a quick snippet of gameplay footage for each game.  This assured me that each game is indeed what I would consider to be a true RPG of the PS1 era.  This of course, may be a point of contention for any readers, as the definition of an RPG can begin to blur around the edges when applied to a number of games.  Therefore I had to trust my gut and go with what I feel in my soul to be a true RPG.  Therefore some games, such as Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, or Parasite Eve, which appear on a number of other RPG lists, were removed from mine, as I consider them to be a different genre of game that instead utilizes RPG elements.

The end result is the list we find below.  68 games...

Games in BLUE I own and currently sit on my shelf.

Games in RED I owned at one point, and still may... i need to look into it. (EL is the abbreviation for my parents home town and the game may be there)

Games with STARS next to them I am VERY excited about playing (More stars... more excitement)

001. Alundra*
002. Alundra 2*
003. Arc the Lad Collection*
004. Azure Dream
005. Battle Hunter
006. Beyond the Beyond
007. Brave Fencer Musashi
008. Breath of Fire III*
009. Breath of Fire IV*
010. Brigandine*
011. Chrono Cross
012. Chocobo's Dungeon 2
013. Darkstone
014. Diablo
015. Dragon Seeds
016. Dragon Valor
017. Dragon Warrior VII*
018. Eternal Eyes*
019. Final Fantasy VII
020. Final Fantasy VIII
021. Final Fantasy IX
022. Final Fantasy Anthology (Case? Refurbish?)
023. Final Fantasy Chronicles*
024. Final Fantasy Origins*
025. Final Fantasy Tactics**
026. Front Mission 3**
027. Grandia (EL?)
028. Granstream Saga
029. Guardian's Crusade
030. Harvest Moon: Back to Nature
031. Hoshigami: Ruining Blue Earth**
032. Jade Cocoon**
033. Kartia: Word of Fate
034. King's Field
035. King's Field II
036. Koudelka**
037. Legend of Dragoon
038. Legend of Legaia***
039. Legend of Mana*
040. Lunar Silver Star Story Box Set**
041. Lunar II Eternal Blue Box Set**
042. Monster Seed
043. Ogre Battle
044. Persona***
045. Persona II: Eternal Punishment***
046. Rhapsody: A Musical Adventure
047. RPG Maker
048. Saga Frontier
049. Saga Frontier 2
050. Saiyuki: Journey West
051. Shadow Madness
052. Star Ocean: Second Story*
053. Suikoden*
054. Suikoden II*
055. Tactics Ogre: Let us Cling Together**
056. Tales of Destiny
057. Tales of Destiny II
058. Thousand Arms
059. Threads of Fate
060. Torneko: The Last Hope
061. Vagrant Story
062. Valkyrie Profile**
063. Vandal Hearts*
064. Vandal Hearts II*
065. Vanguard Bandits
066. Wild Arms (EL?)
067. Wild Arms 2**
068. Xenogears*

est cost: $2601

Yes, as of right now, based on the prices set by Gamedude (seriously check it out I get a tingly feeling every time I go there.) I am looking at a $2601 price tag. Of course, some of the fun of the quest will be scouring auctions and garage sales for deals on any of these titles.

In reasoning with the price I just have to continue to remind myself that in one fell swoop it is less than two weeks pay, and spread out over time it will be less of a burden... however should my wife ever figure out my plan (or read this blog that I am putting on the internet... doh!) then she may very well murder me. So if I stop updating for any signifigant amount of time, we know what has happened.

Thus we have begun the first step of our journey.